“I feel like I should be further ahead”

This week, I was chatting with a client here in Nottingham who said something I hear quite a lot:

“I just feel like I should be further ahead by now.”

They’d been training consistently, showing up to sessions, putting in the effort but still felt like they were behind where they should be.

It’s an interesting mindset, and one that can quietly hold people back if it’s not addressed.

Where this feeling comes from

When we spoke about it more, it became clear this wasn’t based on their actual progress. It was based on comparison.

They were:

• Comparing themselves to people in the gym

• Comparing themselves to what they see online

• Comparing themselves to an ideal version of where they thought they’d be

  
  

The problem is, none of those comparisons reflect reality.

Everyone’s starting point is different. Everyone’s schedule is different. Everyone’s lifestyle is different.

What I actually saw

From my perspective, this client was doing really well.

They were:

• Consistent with their sessions

• Getting stronger week by week

• Moving better

• Building confidence in the gym

  
  

In other words, they were progressing exactly as they should be. But because their expectations were unrealistic, it didn’t feel like progress.

The problem with “should”

The word should is where a lot of frustration comes from in fitness.

“I should be fitter by now.”

“I should have lost more weight.”

“I should be more consistent.”

These expectations are often based on:

• Social media

• Short-term transformations

• Other people’s journeys

  
  

Progress is usually slower than you think

One of the most important things I explain to clients is that real progress is often slower than expected, but far more sustainable.

Quick results might look impressive, but they’re often hard to maintain.

Steady progress, even if it feels slow, is what actually lasts.

As a personal trainer in Nottingham, I’d much rather see a client improve consistently over months than chase fast results that lead to burnout.

Shifting the focus

With this client, we shifted the focus slightly:

• From outcomes → to behaviours

• From comparison → to personal progress

• From “should” → to “what’s actually happening”

  
  

Once they started recognising their progress properly, their mindset changed almost immediately. They felt more positive, more motivated, and more confident in what they were doing.

What this means for you

If you’ve ever felt like you’re behind or not where you “should” be, it’s worth taking a step back.

Look at:

• How consistent you’ve been

• What you can do now that you couldn’t before

• How your confidence has changed

  
  

Progress isn’t always obvious day-to-day, but it adds up over time.

Final thoughts

Feeling like you’re not where you “should” be is incredibly common, but it doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong.

More often than not, it just means your expectations need adjusting. If you stay consistent and focus on your own journey, progress will come.

And when it does, it tends to last.